Monday, June 11, 2012

Forgiven...really?

Yesterday (at church, how ironic) I messed up. When I realized it, I went and admitted it to those I had offended and said I was very sorry for what I had done and that I understood I was wrong. I asked God for forgiveness. Despite their "no problem" responses, I spent time off and on the rest of the day reviewing what I had done in my mind and berating myself for what I had done. I have an overly active self-condemnation habit that I'm working to break.

Fast forward to this morning. The reason I didn't feel forgiven...I didn't ask for forgiveness. I offered repentance and that was a good first step. Asking for forgiveness gives the other person power and requires I submit myself to their response. I AM forgiven by God, but it also feels good to be forgiven by people when we've messed up. No matter what their response might have been to my request for forgiveness, I think I would have walked away feeling forgiven at that point. There is something wonderful about true repentance, the kind that will do anything to make things right. (2 Corinthians 7:10-11)

5 comments:

  1. That's funny because I, too, did something at church yesterday that gnawed at me all day. But I didn't feel like I needed forgiveness, just a chance to clarify things. I'm still mulling over what I need to do about it.

    Previous to that, I had another incident with a couple of people where I found out I really did offend them. I immediately went to them, talked it over and asked forgiveness. One of them said it wasn't necessary but accepted my apology. The other ignored my apology. Yes, we can't be responsible for how they receive it, but at least we know we've done everything within our ability to make it right.

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  2. That makes perfect sense. But, what about when you feel you messed up and you can't go to that person and ask forgiveness and after asking God for forgiveness you still don't feel forgiven?

    I really enjoy your pondering and always have. Thanks for writing some down.
    Love ya, Mary

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  4. Mary, in Romans 12:18 God says through Paul, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." I find if I've done all I can, I remind myself of this verse over and over until I've convinced myself to let it go. God doesn't enjoy our self-condemnation because it gets in the way of friendship with Him.

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  5. I will keep that verse in mind next time I'm beating a dead horse in my head.
    Thanks Linda!

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